How did I cope with him being gone???
Where should I start? Hmm... How about the beginning. :)
Firstly, I didn't want him go into the service at all because of all the dangers. I was so worried and I still am. He took the ASVAB passed and I waited for him to let me know when he had to leave for MEPS and Basic Training. He went to MEPS twice, I think. One of the times they didn't have a job available that he wanted. Well let's fast foward...He told me his date and my heart dropped. It was only 2 weeks away. I didn't cry because I was so speechless. He cried because he wasn't prepared to leave that early. He assumed that he was going to leave in March or May.
His mom had a going away dinner for him at their home. I was sad, but pretended to be happy until I found out something and I was angry. But I didn't let that get in the way of anything. Once most of the crowd started to slim down it all started to hit me. When everyone left us in the living room alone, I remember trying to find something on the TV to watch to keep my mind off of it, but it didn't help. I remember him holding me tight that hold day which was making it worse for me to hide/hold in my tears. He knows me so well. He know when I don't look at him that I'm crying and when he tries to comfort me I get worse. Well luckily one of his friends (who is very silly) needed a ride home. He kind of cheered me up with the jokes, but once he left and it got quiet tears filled up my eyes again. We came back to the house and sat in the car for nearly 15 to 30 minutes.
Once we got back in the house we were alone again. That is when I broke down and just let it all out. I cried like a little child who just got a whooping (you know when you get a whooping and your trying to hold the tears or trying to stop crying and you make that gaspy noise and start to twitch. lol I can't explain it). He couldn't hold in any longer. He cried too. I don't know how we stopped, but we did. It was finally time for me to go home and when I gave him that last hug goodbye I was about to cry, but I caught myself and I had to rush him out the door. (As I'm typing this I'm beginning to tear up a bit).
The first weeks I didn't know what I was going to do because I miss talking to him all day and night. It wasn't until the 3rd or 4th week when his mom gave me a bit of hope. She gave me the address to where they were and I quickly took out my laptop and began to type away. I had so many questions.
This semester in school I didn't as well as I hoped I would because my mind wasn't focused on my work. While at school I had some girls that I called my friends and they were great. They kept me laughing and one always checked to make sure that I was okay. As for his friends they didn't change and they were there for me. I don't know why I thought they would act differently because he wasn't around... I didn't fail in school I just got a C in one of my classes which I thought maybe I would have had a B in and I wanted a 3.8 this semester, but I didn't get it. It's okay though.
I wrote my first letter (typed), mailed it off, and waiting anxiously for him to write back. Other things I did was made YouTube videos, blogged, changed up my hair, and spend a lot of time with my family. My family is always there for me anyways. Without them I don't think I could have made it.
Throughout that process I sent 14 letters. My sis sent 2 and my mom sent one.
As it got closer to family day/graduation I got so anxious. I bought so many different outfits. On the way there I didn't move from that spot on the van. When I finally saw him it's like I was stuck in one spot. I couldn't move. He lost so much weight (he wasn't fat, just gained some weight from all the late night snacks/sleep). I was in tears. I was shocked because I didn't cry. I just couldn't wait until everybody was out of the way. It was such a joyous occassion for all of us. I didn't want it to be over. He was so happy to see me. lol. I forgot to mention that he proposed to me. lol (So yea I had 2 months to plan a wedding at a very low budget of $1500)
We were loading up to prepare to go see him off and as soon as we got on the base he sent me a text message and said that we couldn't see him. I was so hurt. It seemed as if I was the only one that was sad/angry. I really wanted to get that last hug before he left again. I remember trying to hold in the tears. Luckily, everyone near me was restless and sleepy. I let out a few tears and pulled out a Kleenex and quickly wiped them away. I had to think happy thoughts to stop me from crying.
While at AIT...
It is much better because I got to talk to him every single day. The only hard thing about this is thinking some lil girl is going to try to push up on him. Other than that it's cool. It's relaxed.
Well it's almost time for him to come back home. I'm so ready.
If ya'll have any questions please let me know because I am stuck and I am lost for words.
Trust me, I know how you feel. My husband is in AIT, and BCT was the worst time for me. I think being able to talk to him but not see him.sucks, but we send pics back and forth everyday and iy kind of helps.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in a Marine Corps town, and all my military friends werent with thier wives in basic. This really helps :)